By Trina Machacek
I eat yogurt and I like it. I do buy the cheapest yogurt that I can get. I have tried the expensive ones. You know they come in glass jars or have two sides one of which is the yogurt and one is the additives of sweet or crunchy. They’re good but not good enough for me to spend two or more times the money for the same reason I buy and enjoy yogurt. No, the ten for six bucks is a sweet enough spot for me.
I do not know all the reasons there are for eating this slurp causing container of stuff. I don’t even know why, when or how I ever first tried one. It’s not at all like me to try something like yogurt. Since I have been eating it I have been brought right to the edge of stories about how it is made and what it reminds un-yogurt eating people of. Pretty sure those who do not eat yogurt are as steadfast in their resolve as those who do not eat liver or cottage cheese. Count me in on the liver one for sure. So I can absolutely relate with non yogurt eaters. But. Yes a cool creamy sweet “but.” Where else can I get something mixed with raspberries or blueberries that will sit in my refrigerator for weeks just in case I get a wild hair to have something in the middle of winter mixed with blueberries or raspberries? Yes, I said weeks. I don’t know how yogurt is made but I have found little containers of it stuffed clear in the back of my fridge and opened them and they are just like they came out of the yogurt filling station. That in itself should be a cause for pause.
Over my years of adulthood I have developed this action I take with a few packages of food. It all started with wine. Or was it ketchup. Either way I do this. First thing I do when I pick up a bottle is smack the bottom and shake it. I heard you wine connoisseurs suck in a deep breath. Well let it out. I’ve done this for years. I think it all began at a wedding I attended. As the evening wore on it got a little out of hand and we started popping tops and found if we hit the bottoms first they spouted really, really high. That doesn’t happen with regular wine but I still smack-n-shake. To tell the truth I don’t really like wine. Had too much when I was young. So most wine is safe around me. Ketchup. Now you need to turn it upside down and hit it a few times on your hand to get it all lined up for a good squeeze. But before you do that you need to shake it a few times to get it all one consistency. Don’t you just cringe when you squirt ketchup out and that watery stuff hits your fries first? So that’s why I shake wine and ketchup. Yogurt gets shaken before opening so I don’t see the watery top too. Oh and so there is a nice layer on the bottom of the lid to lick. Come on now. It’s what we all do. I shake for this reason too…
I don’t take supplements. Have you seen the price of something called probiotics? When I learned about yogurt I seem to remember someone telling me that the biggest reason to get yogurt into my belly was that it magically aligned all the little enzymes with tiny bacteria. That in turn would keep all things right with the world. Well for sixty cents I was all in. Then my head told me that it might be a good thing to wake up the sleeping whatever was in yogurt. Because again, I sometimes have the little plastic cups in my refrigerator for weeks, and yes maybe a month. Or more. So if it sits and sits then I surmised that the stuff in there has quit being active. So I shake the little plastic cups. Be sure to put your thumb or a finger or two over the top. That seal is only as good as you hope it is.
There are many shakable items. Orange juice to get all the pulp up and stirring. Milk to get a good layer of foam in your glass when you pour it. Mustard. Well, see ketchup above.
In daily life it seems a good idea to never just let things lay around to be used as is. Shake up your world occasionally. You just never know what will come of a good shake or two.
Trina lives in Eureka, Nevada. Her funny book, “They Call Me Weener” is available on Amazon.com or email her at firstname.lastname@example.org to get a signed copy.